this break has been fun. i haven't written during it, so i'm gonna do a summary sorta of what's gone down.

monday i was getting better and mom was too. we watched romantic comedies together in the afternoon over late take out lunches. we saw laws of attraction and two weeks' notice. then we had dinner with my dad and brother when they got home later.



on tuesday i saw la jessica for a nice long lunch at fosters and to give her her baby gifts. i got chupa the inflatable duck tub (why don't adults have these things?), some onesies, and a pacifier with a cute green elephant on it. then saw craig for a trip to nv and target to pick up things before his trip to italy.


on wednesday i slept pretty much all day, and had dinner with my fambly, and then saw brian. we stayed up all night talking, which was cool. i miss seeing him more often. it always reminds me of our past, which is good and bad.

thursday i drove to winston salem to see jody, who showed me the many wonders of that place. i met some of his friends there too and we had dinner and coffee. then i spent some time with my family when i got back, and actually watched some basketball.

today i had lunch with my dad, then went shopping for my birthday presents with my mom. then we had my birthday dinner with my family. then i watched the jungle book with my mom, because my little cousin returned my disney movies that i lent her years ago, because she doesn't watch vhs anymore and she has tons of movies.

everyone is asleep now, except me. and i'm feeling really emotional. i keep tearing up. i'm really sad that my break is almost over. i need more time to spend with everyone. i know i'm gonna be 25 on monday but i don't wanna leave my old room or my family. i will probably have to come right back home very soon.

i'm still pretty worried about a lot of things. i need to talk it out. i feel like i have this dual reality happening right now, and it's really hard to reconcile. i hope things turn out ok. i just want to drown out all those worries somehow. they pop up at really bad times. right now i'm having some wine. i know that's bad to drink by yourself, but fuck it. it's my birthday. "i do what i want!" lol. and i'm listening to whatever pops up on my itunes. right now it's tamia "stranger in my house" hahaha i'm just gonna be honest on that one. just incase you need to relive it too...


and now to lighten my mood (hopefully)... i'm gonna make a tentative list of things i'm buying myself for my birthday. the items in the running are as follows:

-the new blue six cd, aquarian angel.
-an esthero pink pirate tshirt.
-queer as folk final season dvds.
-some new jeans. but i'm not sure which kind or where from..
-she-ra dvd set. i might not be able to resist...

this is a preliminary list. oh and things i got today are:

-barnes and noble gift card
-a book from my grandma
-sunglasses from nordstrom
-grey pinstripe blazer from urban outfitters
-green checkered shirt from banana
-some cash money

listening to: esthero - "my torture"

"...we march into love. it's who we are..."