this week has been an array of mixed emotions. i withdrew from my IT
class, which i feel like was a really good step, and psychologically
will free me up in a lot of ways. plus i have the syllabus so i can get
ahead for taking it later.

the blue six cd came in and it is really amazing. had a lovely afternoon with chad
yesterday. then a fun night with everyone watching top design and queer
as folk.

today however is kind of a mess. i had my finance class this morning, and i'm
feeling sort of lost right now. and i was supposed to go to this talk
that my professor was hosting with a guest speaker, which would have
given me extra credit on my next exam, but i decided to sit it out and
study for my physics exam, which is in 15 minutes. also i was planning
on having lunch with everyone, which recently is pretty much the only
definite time to see anyone. but that fell through for whatever
reasons, and i can't really get anyone on the phone, which is basically
bullshit. so i'm a little annoyed at this point.

i have a counseling appointment after physics, and i really don't want to go. i
mean, i will, and i like my counselor a lot, but i need something more
often to make any difference, and this just isn't going to cut it.i'm
dealing with my shit all the time by my damn self anyway, so i might as
well keep on. no one's really much help anyway, even if they are really
trying.

it's very frustrating, though, to be continually jerked around between
feeling good about some shit and then feeling like things are not ever
working out. i just wish i could get some sort of grasp on things. and
i really wish i could be somewhere else. more and more i'm more frustrated with this place and pretty much everything that comes with it. there are some exceptions, but not many.

now i have ot go take my physics exam, which i am not optimistic about. i'm really in no position to be taking an exam at the moment. but no one asked me.

typical.

listening to: n'dambi - "can't change me"