AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
today is the most stressful mess of a day in recent memory. i can't go
into details now because there is still more craziness to come. but i
will be back.

back. so i woke up reluctantly, feeling really
tired and dreading doing anything. this being the case, i reset my
alarm for 30 more minutes. my dad then calls up to me to remind me i
really need to get the car inspected and cut the grass today. i know
this already, but his telling me makes it seem more urgent, and so i
only sleep for 20 more minutes. i get up, shower, dress, leave for the
license place in the mall to get my registration renewed. i drive all
the way there, thinking "i can get all this done today. it's all good."
i get to sketchy northgate and two cars almost hit me from driving right
through their fucking stop signs. then once i spot a parking space,
the fucking moron driving in front of me can't decide where he's going
but he knows one thing for sure and that's that he's going to take
FOREVER TO GET THERE! i finally park and get out of my car and experience
a moment of dread, realizing i have forgotten my wallet.

so i drive all the way home. keep in mind i was going to do that renewal
thing before my doctor's appointment. now i do not have enough time to only
barely make it on time to my appointment alone. so i drive to duke, and parking
is an expected disaster. i walk to the clinic and there are only 2 people in
front of me. "no problems here," i think to myself maybe my day is
turning around. wrong. there is one person at the check-in desk and
she's slow as fuck and apparently knows the lady she's checking in, but
who has come to the wrong clinic! they're chatting it up and laughing
about the mistake, and then the receptionist gets up and leaves. when
she gets back she shuffles some things around on her counter and says
casually, like business as usual, "next person." 10 minutes to check
in, and i'm late as hell. and i get a look that the receptionist is thinking to herself: "wow you're late."

as if i didn't know. so i take my half-completed paperwork to a chair and
realize i have no pen because i just cleaned out my bag yesterday. so i
decide just to read and fill it out once i get into the room. thank god
i brought a book, because it was my saving grace throughout this train
wreck of a day.augusten burroughs' "dry." and yes i know books are supposed to be underlined, but i'm taking liberties. i'm re-reading it, and it is a amusing book considering i'm in the hospital. i get back to the room and the nurse, who has good
intentions i have to say, completely fucks my finger up with a blood
sampling. it's not hard. and it's anendocrine clinic so lord knows
she's had practice. my finger is oozing blood and she gives me 2
bandages. she means well, but it's only fitting considering the day so
far. i then fill out my paperwork, which i basically give up on,
because it reads "problems and concerns" and gives me a small space to
fill some things in. i just decide to write "i'm a mess."

the nurse practitioner i see is always a very nice lady, so this visit is not bad. we set some goals for me to take better care of myself, because
as noted i;m a mess. even though the visit goes well, the stress of
just how much i am a mess is a weight not to be lifted. speaking of
weight, i weigh like 6 pounds more than i thought i did, which pisses
me off. i then get my lab work done and leave to get my renewal and my
inspection done.

arriving at northgate i have more incidents
of incapable drivers. and please note if i find your driving crazy,
you've really fucked up. i go into the place and there's no line. a
good thing. i get up to the counter and greet the man and hand him my
card to get my renewal and he says, "cash or check only, sir." i say
"are you kidding me?" and he points to theatm in the corner. so i go
over to it and make a withdrawal with a $2.50 fee and come back, and
drop the money on his desk and do not speak to him anymore. i leave and
go to jiffy lube to get my inspection done. this idiotic man takes
forever just to walk his ass to my car to tell me to wait inside. i
tell him i know i have a headlight out, but i have my bulb that i
bought on my dashboard with my registration.i'm thinking this is fine and i'll be home soon.

they haven't even pulled my fucking car into the building when another guy
comes to me and says they aren't able to put the bulb into my car, so i
won't pass the inspection. aren't able or just won't do? just curious,
since my car is not in theshop and has had no attention yet. i say it's fine but i'd like paperwork in case i get pulled over uninspected. he says ok
like it'll be seconds later. my car has still not moved, and people are
being helped left and right around me, so i go out the garage and
annoyed ask if i couldjust get my papers so i can leave. he says i'm
sorry but your information has to be entered into the database. that
takes 15 fucking minutes! long enough for me to see the end of judgejudy
and the first segment of hard copy or some bullshit like that. another
guy comes in and tells me it's $24. just for a paper that says my car is not ok
! he then tells me i should have told him not to do anything. but i was
not told these details. i get in my car and leave for home. wash the
dishes and cut the grass, and take a shower.

and that brings us here. and this may not seem that frustrating to someone just reading
it, but the back story here is that i just got paid and paid off a
third of my lawyer fees and now have spent $100 in medical-related
costs, and $75 in car-related costs, and my gas is almost empty and
glaring at me to fill it or else. so i have like $50 dollars until - wait for it - NEXT friday! i'm trying to keep things in perspective but there's no way in hell. so i will have to get money from my parents. i'm trying to actually be an adult and not do that, but things like this keep happening and it makes it really pretty much impossible right now.

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-N-G.

you always hear people say, "i feel like i could scream," and think, damn,
it's not that serious. but today i would be right there with them
screaming my ass off. that is if i wasn't getting ready to get in bed
and pull the blanket over my head.