the third-shift life... what what? yeah i'm awake today at 8:30 after finally falling asleep at 4-somethin this morning and waking up at 6:30 to say bye to mom who was going to the airport. the moral of this story is that while this is all fine and good at the moment, when i'ma be up in banana werkin that wrap until 10, i'm gonna be bout as wore out as a lady could get if i don't get more sleep today.

other than that, errything is going well. i'm enjoying work. it is soo nice to get out the damn house! i cannot even tell you. but it feels like i haven't donything much all summer so far and that makes me sad since it's like 1/2 over. but whatchagonnado? i'm just gonna hafta do it up big from here on out.

however on the agenda for today is some cleaning, because yesterday i was all about some yardwork and didn't get anything done inside. i might be able to squeeze in some time to read at some point, along with providing enough time to try on everything to figure out what to wear to work. i feel like edina in the doorhandle episode. she tries to plan her clothes out for the next day to save time, but when she puts it all on, she can't do it. and so it takes me awhile to get ready. plus we're working with limited choices for work, which tends to make me a little bored with some options. at any rate, it's gonna be an exciting day. knowing me, non of it will get done in the proper fashion, and i'll be scrambling around to finish anything... but at least i have a plan.

*i've been ridiculously indecisive and distracted lately and have not been able to post anything, so this seems like the kind of thing to do, just to keep up in some sense...

"Little Red Corvette" - baby, you're much too fast.

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Pussy Control" - Prince. (LOL you know I always say that, actually ;)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"The Strangest Thing '97" - George Michael. (I'm not that comfortable liking THE strangest thing, really, but some strangeness is aiight)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"It's Over (Mike Cruz Mix)" - Georgie Porgie feat. Joi Cardwell. (Too through!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Skate" - Monica. (Anyone who's witnessed me skating knows this is not true)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Dinner With Delores" - Prince. ("Like a brontosaurus, she was packin it in"... that makes me so sad to think of much of this song as being my motto, but that makes it kinda appropriate)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Surfboard" - Sergio Mendes feat. Will.I.Am. (The song is fun and very ecclectic, so I'm gonna approve of it)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Thank Heaven 4 U" - Esthero. (That is the sweetest serendipity ever. Made me tear up just a little)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Are You The One?" - Peter Cincotti. (Haha funny, but not exactly..)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Not About Love" - Fiona Apple. (Shows just how well I focus on math)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
"The World Is Not Enough" - Garbage. ("Together we can take the world apart" That's right, bitches)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Azul Anil" - Gabin. ("Azul Anil" is Portuguese and translates to "Blue Indigo", which is kinda abstract, but it's a pretty song so it's ok)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Slap That Bass (Miguel Migs Petalpusher Mix)" - Ella Fitzgerald. (Basically I would be happy with either Ella or Miguel being the soundtrack of my lifestory, bot BOTH?! I'm pretty fortunate there)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Insatiable" - Prince. (Hell I'm that way now. Guess I can stop wishing, huh? What a relief : / )

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Only (Weekender Vocal Mix)" - Aquanote. (Kinda pessimistic/cynnical but it really kinda fits me. Sweet in the end, though... "It's only love that matters")

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Chicken Noodle Soup" - Webstar & Young B. (This has GOT TO BE my favorite song occurrance! What better song? LOL)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Allright" - Speakeasy. ("Everything's gonna be allright" Kinda diminishes my importance, but what do I care, I'm dead)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
"Forever More (Can7 Hometree Mix)" - Moloko. (I love Moloko, and this is one of my favorite songs, but the analysis really stops there)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Gotta Move" - Barbra Streisand. (Yes I'm so queeny with the Barbra song here, but it really kinda fits my fears. I'm really afraid of moving away from the people I love or familiar things in a lot of ways, although I would really love to travel and see all kinds of things and places in my life. I'm just always having a hard time reconciling these fears)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Miniskirt" - Esquivel. (I love that this came up, but it is not a secret of mine. I'm not that kind of queen. At one point in my life, perhaps it would have been more of a possibility, but no. Shoes would be closer, but still not really)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Eu Sou Favela" - Seu Jorge. (This doesn't translate nicely, but the song is about the rough areas/ghettos of Sao Paulo, so that is not a good representation of my friends)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Little Red Corvette" - Prince. (Damn, ANOTHER Prince song! That's crazy. But it proves I'm not tweaking my results)

so i just got home from craig's birthday party, and i am not really sure how i'm feeling right now. recently i have felt more and more self conscious and it's hard to have a good time when i go out. i try to put together cute outfits and all that shit, but it's just not the problem. everyone was taking pictures and the whole night i'm thinking: please don't let them catch my shiny red face in any of these. i've had a hard time with my appearance and my body for a long time, but recently it's been a lot more on my mind, and i can't have fun when i go out and it's really brought me down tonight. i saw a lot of people i knew tonight and that part was really great and no one is acting as if i have something to worry about, but i almost wish it were that, because then i could just hate a few random people and not have to deal with it myself. i fucking hate the summer. it is just impossible for me to feel any good type of way during the summer, because it's sticky and hot and i'm pastey and not in as good of shape as i want to be, and it's just a mess. this must sound so superficial, but it's really not. it's something i've always struggled with, but it's just really become a problem much more for me recently. i don't even want to go out because of it, and now i'm depressed at 4:30 in the morning and there's nothing to be done about it. i hate to be so whiney but there's no way i could actually tell anyone this it's so pathetic, so i thought i would try to get it out this way.

so i'm still waiting to start work, and i've gone stir crazy being at home all the time, which tends to happen. frankly i'm surprised i lasted this long. but i really do need to get out, because i'm sorta cranky at times when i don't mean to be. i haven't been outwardly cranky, but i've noticed the feelings. i really can't wait to start working and living my life in a more normal fashion for me. i'm not a stay home all the time person.

i've been sick and gross for the past few days. ew. sinus infection and fevers. i'm in constant bewilderment and disgust at all this sneezing and coughing. where does it all come from? i hope today is the death sentence for this bullshit, because i don't want to be sick and gross anymore.

and so out of boredom i have stumbled on quizzes from robin's journal, and thought i'd do them before i do some laundry and continue sickly domesticity. and here are the results, unsurprising, but nevertheless...

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel. At Your Best: You are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you're thinking, and you can communicate it well. At Your Worst: You are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn. Your Fixation: Envy Your Primary Fear: To have no identity Your Primary Desire: To find yourself Other Number 4's: Alanis Morisette, Johnny Depp, J.D. Salinger, Jim Morrison, and Anne Rice.

What Number Are You?

Your Love Quote

True love stories never have endings.

What Love Quote Suits You?

listening to: gorillaz - "faust"